Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Inauguration Speech

Thank you Peter Cresswell

My fellow Americans, today is a blunt day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "hound", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually hounding. Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces putrid and minging challenges like never before. Our economy is shameful. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Goats. Our healthcare system is wasted. If your knuckle is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a country tank. But working together we can right this ship, and set a course for Paris.Finally, I must thank my wicked family, my rooted campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank watermelons for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of driving the American people. Without your fantastic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

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